This year I worked very hard to prepare for Conference before it started. I had questions and concerns that I was bringing before the Lord and I wanted to be able to receive the answers through the talks in General Conference. I wrote my thoughts and questions in my prayer journal and I fasted and prayed for two Sundays in a row that included our local Stake Conference and General Women's Meeting. I did not want to exclude any possible avenue for guidance from the Lord.
One of my questions, I will admit, was a little on the whiney side. Basically, "if I am doing what You have asked of me, why am I still struggling so much?" Other questions were more about how I can improve myself and help others in their struggles. One was about how I can improve my newly-developing business.
During Stake Conference, especially, I was inundated with answers to how I can help others in their struggles, and a firm strengthening of my testimony that Heavenly Father knows of my questions and concerns and cares about them.
As General Conference arrived, I was excited for the answers I knew I would receive from the Lord. As is my habit, I watch General Conference with my laptop, tabs open on Drive (to keep notes), Twitter, and lds.org. After each session, I kept seeing tweets from people saying how their prayers and questions had been answered by a particular talk. I always responded to them, saying how wonderful that was, and then thought to myself, next session I will receive my answer! I even watched the Priesthood Session, again, not wanting to exclude any possible guidance I might receive.
I received a great deal of guidance from the Lord, about all kinds of different things, just as I always have with every General Conference I have ever listened to. I heard a lot of counsel to not let worry and hardships test my faith, to turn to the Lord for strength to get through them. I know all that. I know it to be true. But, I don't want to have strength to continue to bear up this burden, I want it taken off my back, for good! I wanted the Lord to speak TO ME!
In the 3rd to the last talk of General Conference, Elder Larry S. Kacher, of the Seventy, spoke about where we look for answers to our questions. He told us to turn to a loving Heavenly Father. Then he said: Choose to set aside doubts, allowing the Lord to answer in his own time.
The Spirit spoke to my heart and mind. I KNEW that was the Lord speaking TO ME. I was humbled.
Elder Kacher followed with this scripture, Doctrine & Covenants 50:40 - "Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth."
I read beyond that and read the next six verses:
"Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me;
"And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.
"And the Father and I are one. I am in the Father and the Father in me; and inasmuch as ye have received me, ye are in me and I in you.
"Wherefore, I am in your midst, and I am the good shepherd, and the stone of Israel. He that buildeth upon this rock shall never fall. (emphasis added)
"And the day cometh that you shall hear my voice and see me, and know that I am.
"Watch, therefore, that ye may be ready. Even so. Amen."
Three times during General Conference I was excited to hear my favorite Book of Mormon scripture quoted, Helaman 5:12!
And here it was again: "He that buildeth upon this rock shall never fall."
I don't have to worry about WHEN the Lord will answer my question, as long as I am built upon the rock of my Redeemer, Jesus Christ, and rely on His Atonement for grace, mercy and strength.
My question has now changed to: Please allow Your grace to help me bear up my burdens, to find peace from the relentless stress of my burdens, by continually guiding me in how I can better learn from, change (especially change!), and accept my circumstances, in recognizable and sustainable ways.
Now I am going to take the things that I have learned from General Conference and LIVE them! I am going to take my notes and make goals for ways that I can improve, change and draw closer to my Heavenly Father and His will for me! I can't wait for the November ENSIGN to come out so I can re-read the talks and study them in greater depth!
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I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who chastens me and reminds me who should be in control of my life. I am in these stresses and problems because I chose to made decisions without asking Him for guidance and direction, and relied upon my own meager "wisdom". When I allow the most omnipotent and powerful being in the universe, who knows me better than I know myself, to guide my life according to His will and His timing, I will ALWAYS be blessed beyond measure! I will ALWAYS find the greatest happiness! I am grateful for the Prophet and Apostles who prayerfully speak the words that the Lord would have them say to us, right now, at this time, when we need them the most! This gospel is a marvelous and beautiful blessing!!
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